The word “narcissist” is among the most overused, but is nevertheless used properly when applied to those who, with supreme arrogance, announce their intention to unfriend someone for the crime of having voted for the “wrong” candidate, held the “wrong” opinion, or simply dared to exist in a way that offends the delicate sensibilities of the morally superior.
There is something profoundly comical, and yet deeply troubling, about these public declarations. They are couched in the language of righteous indignation, as if to unfriend someone on Facebook were akin to divine judgment, casting the unworthy into the eternal flames of hell, forsaken by the world. They announce, with an air of triumph and condescension and expectation of applause, that they will no longer suffer the presence of those who are insufficiently enlightened—those who, in their view, have strayed from the path of righteousness by daring to hold a different opinion, or by making the tragic mistake of casting their vote for a political candidate whose views are as abhorrent as they are misguided.
One can only imagine the smug satisfaction they derive from the thought that their decision to unfriend someone will cause that person to feel some profound sense of loss, and worse, failure.
Such is the absurdity of the modern narcissist, whose ego is so fragile, whose sense of self-worth so deeply intertwined with social approval, that they feel compelled to broadcast their superiority in the most public and self-satisfying way possible. These people seem to believe that their decisions to void friendships carry a momentous weight, when, in reality, these actions are little more than exercises in self-aggrandizement. It is the digital equivalent of a child throwing a tantrum, demanding attention and virtual validation for what is, at its core, a petty and inconsequential act.
One cannot help but marvel at the arrogance of these individuals—who do they think they are, after all? The Old Testament God of social media, casting judgment upon a fallen world? It is a striking metaphor for the hubris of our age: an era in which the most trivial slights are magnified, and the most banal decisions are imbued with cosmic significance.
The real tragedy lies not in the public spectacle of these individuals and their self-righteous pronouncements, but rather in the intellectual and emotional poverty that underpins their actions. The narcissist who feels compelled to sever ties with someone over a difference of opinion, no matter how profound or minor, is someone who has forsaken intellectual humility, and thereby, intellectualism altogether.
Real wisdom, of course, lies in the recognition that others may have valid reasons for their beliefs, shaped by experiences and perspectives we may not share. Yet, it is far easier to dismiss those who disagree as fools or villains, to treat them with disdain rather than engage in thoughtful dialogue. And so, the narcissist’s fragile ego, too weak to entertain the possibility of being wrong, defaults to moral and intellectual laziness. It is far simpler, after all, to unfriend someone than to wrestle with the complexities of the human condition, to challenge one’s own assumptions, or to consider that perhaps we, too, may have something to learn from those with whom we disagree.
This, in the end, is the real tragedy of the narcissist. I pity them.
